


Exhausted

by Akanthe



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Multi, Short, This Is Sad, i'M SAD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 19:16:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11065401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akanthe/pseuds/Akanthe
Summary: You made Seven feel normal again. But the universe wouldn't be so kind as to grace him with normality for too long now, would it?





	Exhausted

**Author's Note:**

> ** I haven't put a warning on this because I'm not entirely sure if I should, but spoilers!! M/C - you - does die in this, and there's an implied death at the end. Just in case.**
> 
> Wow, I actually got rather sad writing this. The universe truly gives our darling Saeyoung no peace. I hope you enjoy (?) this, or at the very least, feel some emotion from it.

Exhausted.

He was so exhausted.

He was sick and tired of having every little thing in his life ruined. Every time something went right for him – which wasn’t often, mind – it went wrong. So wrong. He felt as though he wasn’t even supposed to be on this planet, most of the time. Most of it, he didn’t even want to _think_ about, let alone _talk_ about. He couldn’t help thinking, but until you had come along, he hadn’t spoken about all the things that had gone wrong for years. Even those in the RFA – those he had come to consider dear friends, despite everything – didn’t really know him. They knew Seven, Agent 707, Luciel – the man who joked and pestered and laughed. They liked him, but they didn’t really get who he was.

You did.        

It felt like you had done from the very beginning. He was wary, of course – he didn’t want to make himself and his friends vulnerable to you if you were dangerous, and you very much could have been. But it hadn’t taken long – not long at all – until even he was letting you in behind his walls. Saeyoung had always marvelled at how you were able to just _get_ everyone. He wasn’t sure, and he would never ask – not now – but he was fairly certain that he was not the only one within the RFA that had fallen in love with you. Had he not been so selfish, you may have had a chance at a cosy, romantic life with Zen. Maybe a life of luxuries and decadence with Jumin? He was sure that Yoosung would have treated you like a princess, and God only knows Jaehee would have treasured you above all else. His friends were all amazing, caring people. Why on earth had you picked _him_? He’d probably just drag you into his life, and with that, into his path of ruination. Trying to protect someone from his uncanny ability to wreck everything around him didn’t work; that much he knew already.

It became clear to him that you cared little for his words of warning. So he pushed, and pushed, and pushed. You persisted. Saeyoung had never felt himself run so dry before – it was as though his very spirit had given up in his quest for isolation. You didn’t _deserve_ what he would bring you; but he couldn’t stop himself.  You brought him blissful contentment, and  even when he was trying to put you on the outermost perimeters of his thoughts, you shone brighter than any other light within his mind. He gave in, eventually. You told him he wouldn’t regret it.

He didn’t.

He loved you with all his being – so much so that he could even forget, when you lay in his arms, that he was so, so terrified of messing up again. When you kissed him, his heart felt so constricted he could’ve sworn it nearly burst. When you were even _near_ him, he felt at ease. Even when the two of you were wed, he could hardly believe it – you were still here. He hadn’t chased you off – though not for lack of trying – and you hadn’t realised that you had made a terrible mistake… Yet. He joked about it often with you; you always chided him for being so silly, placating him with kisses. It took a few years, but eventually, Saeyoung didn’t feel so exhausted any longer.

* * *

Clearly, he didn’t deserve such a fate.

The news had come as a shock to the both of them. The instant he heard it, that very same exhaustion came tumbling back upon him, drowning him once again. You hadn’t been feeling too great for a while now, but Saeyoung had never even _once_ thought that it would be anything serious. After all, he had come too far with you to be screwed over by the universe _again_. The world had taken enough away from him. It _had_ to have taken away enough. You _had_ to stay.

But he didn’t control the universe.

You had deteriorated quickly. Saeyoung had called Jumin first - he was resourceful and respectful as ever, and his offer of help came with a promise to keep your condition quiet. The hospital that Jumin recommended was beyond helpful; Saeyoung knew he would be forever indebted to his friend for everything he had done for you. True to his word, Jumin didn’t tell a soul - Saeyoung was fairly certain that even Elizabeth wouldn’t have known. But eventually, the questions came. Why weren’t you on the messenger? Why was Seven so quiet?

Saeyoung could hardly blame them - you were the beating heart of the group, and when they no longer heard your rhythmic thumping, of course they would panic. Zen figured it out first - or at least, he was the first to ask Saeyoung directly. Saeyoung was fairly sure the other man couldn’t get any paler, but he turned an ashy white when he told him what was happening. Even Zen didn’t know how to react, spluttering and shaking, as Saeyoung smiled bitterly. Jaehee was equally heartbroken - Yoosung didn’t leave his house for days. Saeyoung knew that they were all impacted by the idea of you leaving this planet - but he couldn’t help but feel resentment. They all had other people. They hadn’t had _everything_ taken from them. Agonise they may, they didn’t _need_ you. Saeyoung _needed_ you.

Torturous weeks passed. There were times Saeyoung thought you were ok - you smiled, and laughed, and he saw _life_ in your eyes. He felt alive then, too. When he could make you laugh, and when your hand closed around his - although it was much stiffer than ever before - and you even _teased_ him. Screw not letting the universe take anything more away from him - he would have given _anything_ to have you be like that again.

Most days, however, you were little more than a tired imitation of the person you once were. That was, if you even woke up. Saeyoung almost preferred it when you slept - at least you were peaceful, then. Your gasps and moans of pain— Watching your nails dig into your already tender skin in _agony_ when you were awake… It was too much. He hated himself for it, berated himself as weak and pathetic, but he couldn’t watch. More times than he could count, he had forsaken you to the hospital staff, or to one of the others, and just driven. All the years he had felt feeling exhausted - this was like a physical manifestation of it. Being forced to watch the very person who kept him alive dying.

It was a relief when you died. Seven hated himself for thinking that, but it was. He cried uncontrollably for _days_ , ate nothing, and barely left his room— But he was relieved. Your suffering was done. He couldn’t cause you any pain any more. Jumin told him he was being irrational - he hadn’t caused you any pain, it was the illness. But Seven just _knew_ that this was him. You should have chosen one of the others. Zen would’ve had more time to look over you. He wouldn’t have kept you up long nights as he stared at the computer, worried sick about you. Yoosung would never have allowed you to become even slightly ill— Jaehee could’ve been a nurse in another life, and you would've never been left wanting. Jumin would have seen _earlier_. They _all_ would have been better. Done better. You would still be alive if only Seven hadn’t been there. If only he hadn’t been so selfish and given in.

Seven was fucking exhausted.

It was high time he went to sleep.


End file.
